Red Light, Green Light
by TrekTournament
Summary: Did you know that Hiei and Kurama were lovers in the manga version? Neither did they!


Red Light, Green Light  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything else for that matter. Even so, I have been given the miraculous right to use the characters in evil fanfic ways.  
  
Yuuske: Lord, help us all.  
  
Kuenma: I'm afraid even I don't have the power to do that.  
  
Yuuske: Damn!  
  
Shut up! Anyway, just a small bit of explanation before the fic. In the manga version of Yu Yu Hakusho the characters Hiei and Kurama are lovers. In the animated version they're just friends. Strange, eh? Well, I've taken the liberty to splice the two versions together.  
  
Hiei: Lord, help us all.  
  
Kurama: We already did that joke.  
  
Scenario: Hiei and Kurama are standing together looking off into the sunset.  
  
Kurama: (turning to Hiei) Oh, Hiei, take me now!  
  
Hiei: Gladly!  
  
(The two hug and then.)  
  
Digidude: (From behind tree) ANIME!!!  
  
Hiei: What the hell.? Why are we holding each other?  
  
Kurama: I, don't, know.  
  
Digidude: MANGA!!!  
  
Kurama: Hiei, what are you waiting for?  
  
Hiei: Oh, sorry.  
  
(The two start to get real close to each other.)  
  
Digidude: ANIME!!!  
  
Hiei: What the fuck are you doing!? Get away from me! (pushes Kurama away)  
  
Kurama: Hey! Hiei! Don't be so rough!  
  
Digidude: MANGA!!!  
  
Hiei: Ahhh! Kurama! I don't know what came over me!  
  
Kurama: Hiei! I, I, boo hoo!  
  
Hiei: No, don't cry! (runs over and holds Kurama in his arms)  
  
Digidude: ANIME!!!  
  
Hiei: Gahhh!!! How'd I get back over here!?  
  
Kurama: Hiei, you're touching me in my special spot.  
  
Digidude: MANGA!!!  
  
Kurama: Oh, Hiei, rub me more!  
  
Hiei: Anything to relieve the pain my love.  
  
Digidude: ANIME!!!  
  
Kurama: What did you just say?  
  
Hiei: Wait! No! I didn't mean it!  
  
Kurama: You could've just told me you were gay.  
  
Hiei: No! No! It's not what it looks like!  
  
Digidude: MANGA!!!  
  
Hiei: (romantically) Because. it is.  
  
Kurama: Oh, Hiei, you're so wild!  
  
Digidude: ANIME!!!  
  
Kurama: Ack! Did I just say that!?  
  
Hiei: (mockingly) Now who's the gay one?  
  
Digidude: MANGA!!!  
  
Kurama: Both of us! (throws himself into Hiei's arms)  
  
Hiei: Aw, you're so cute when you're happy.  
  
Digidude: ANIME!!!  
  
Hiei: What is wrong with us!?  
  
Kurama: I don't know, but I want my mommy!  
  
Digidude: MANGA!!!  
  
Hiei: What!? You're mom doesn't need to see us fuck!  
  
Kurama: I know. Why did I say that!?  
  
Digidude: ANIME!!!  
  
Hiei: WHAT!!!???  
  
Kurama: I never thought it possible! We've been possessed!  
  
Digidude: MANGA!!!  
  
Kurama: (romantically) . By love.  
  
Hiei: Go on my sweet! (sticks hands under Kurama's shirt)  
  
Digidude: ANIME!!!  
  
Kurama: This is getting ridiculous!  
  
Hiei: Oh god! Please get my hands away from Kurama's nipples!  
  
Digidude: MANGA!!!  
  
Kurama: No, more, Hiei, more!  
  
Digidude: ANIME!!!  
  
Kurama: No, Hiei, no!  
  
Hiei: I can't stop!  
  
Digidude: MANGA!!!  
  
Kurama: YES! Don't stop!  
  
(Hiei quickly makes with the smoochy.)  
  
Digidude: ANIME!!!  
  
(Both scream into each other's mouths.)  
  
Digidude: MAN -  
  
(Hiei throws his katana at the tree where Digidude is hiding. It skewers the trunk with a death-threatening thud.)  
  
Digidude: Um, eep.  
  
Hiei: I knew it! Someone was playing with our minds!  
  
Kurama: Come out you!  
  
(Digidude walks out slowly with a lowered head and hands in the air.)  
  
Digidude: I'm sorry, I couldn't resist myself.  
  
Hiei: It's a fanfic writer!  
  
Kurama: Worse! It's Digidude!  
  
Hiei: Isn't he wanted on accounts of evil fanfiction?  
  
Kurama: Right!  
  
(short pause.)  
  
Hiei: Lets kill him.  
  
Kurama: For once, I agree with you.  
  
(Hiei quickly retrieves his sword and Kurama unleashes his rose whip.)  
  
Digidude: . shit.  
  
(Digidude: turns and runs frantically away while Hiei and Kurama are in hot pursuit.)  
  
Hiei: Come back here!  
  
Kurama: You can't escape us!  
  
Digidude: Help me!  
  
(They run past Jam Kurodaberi and Ky Kiske. Jam is in a bikini and reclining on a beach chair while Ky, dressed in a waiter outfit, is serving her tropical drinks.)  
  
Jam: (watching Hiei and Kurama chase after Digidude) What is this, the eighth time this week that someone wanted to kill him?  
  
Ky: Ninth, actually.  
  
Jam: Ah.  
  
Ky: Refill?  
  
Jam: Please.  
  
THE END  
  
After Words: Cool, I even got Ky and Jam from Guilty Gear in there. Ah, it feels good to write a parody, especially one so needing of torturous humor. I don't think Hiei and Kurama like me anymore.  
  
(Rubs butt where there is an obvious slash mark.)  
  
Do send reviews. Ciao!  
  
-TrekTournament 


End file.
